People want to see you do well, but not better then them. Why ‘success’ can be painful.

The first time I was published in a magazine was amazing…for a very brief period of time.

I was so excited to be interviewed and when the copy came out, I couldn’t wait to show it to the world. I was so damn proud of myself that a magazine thought I was a cool enough female to be featured in their May women’s edition.

I was at my old workplace at the time and we used to receive this magazine monthly there.

When I finally got my hands on it, I showed it to the closest colleagues around me.

…and it was very surreal, I was met with “Oh that’s nice” and “Hmm okay.”

No one seemed to be particularly happy for me.

I did have one colleague though that did support my journey and he said very loudly “Bravo!”

I’m not going to lie, I was a little down from previous reactions but I did thank him for always supporting me.

Later in the day when I was at my desk, I overheard my bosses boss say, “Guys she’s your colleague, you should be proud of her.”

I have no idea what was said before that and honestly I’m glad I didn’t.

My bosses boss then took my article, cut it out of the magazine and TAPED IT onto the wall.

My bosses boss was parenting my colleagues.

It suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks, people want to see you do well, but not better than them.

It triggers insecurities galore.

My bosses boss came to congratulate me. I appreciated his gesture but was so down and a little in shock that he had to tape up my editorial. I could barely keep eye contact with him. Overly sensitive me was a little too hurt at this point.

At the end of the day on my way out of the office, I took it down.

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